Today brings the possibility of the explosion onto the scene of the biggest celebrity of them all. With an ass bigger than Kim Kardashian, more rumors about him than a Madonna adoption, and supposedly on the short list to be Jennifer Aniston's next man, here comes Bigfoot.
After years of gossip concerning his existence, Bigfoot has been found by two trackers... or so they claim. Matthew Whitton, a policeman from Georgia on medical leave, and Rick Dyer, an ex-prison warden, say they have retrieved the body of Bigfoot from a remote location in northern Georgia. They say they also observed several more of the creatures alive in the area. Tom Biscardi, who has attempted for many years to prove the existence of Bigfoot, says he saw the body and confirms its existence.
The remains are said to be of an apish creature, 7'7" tall, and weighing over 500 pounds. The body is covered in thick reddish hair, and the feet are over two feet in length and over 6 inches wide.
A grain of salt must be taken until incontrovertible evidence is released. Whitton and Dyer, run a Bigfoot tracking business, and Biscardi has claimed to have a Bigfoot before. All are certain to gain from the publicity. Whitton and Dyer have scheduled a press conference at Palo Alto, California for Friday morning.
If Bigfoot turns out to be for real, then television may be his destination. A reality show starring Bigfoot would be far more real than the dreck of "The Hills", and Bigfoot will almost certainly test smarter than Spencer Pratt.